I referenced Kayla's fit from the other night in the previous post. It was a doozy with all sorts of venom spewed towards me out of nowhere. I got the "you think you're perfect" speech among others and then she ran to her room declaring to me "to leave her alone." What fun for me. She knows exactly what buttons to push with me and it's so hard not to react. Thank you to those who have shared their insight and advice with me. I am immensely grateful to those who have walked in my shoes and are willing to share with me their thoughts and experience. We seem to have a few good days and then a night like the other night. I'm learning, though, that it's not me she's angry at--it's the circumstances of her life and who better to vent her anger towards than me. Kayla's not one to talk to or admit to any feelings, though, so trying to comfort her or get her to talk about it does no good at all. She continues to deny that anything wrong ever went on her life and that she has any bad feelings at all. It's frustrating to say the least but I am practicing patience these days as this is not an overnight process. I hope for her sake that she can connect to those feelings and earlier life experiences so that she can move forward.
We were supposed to finalize this month but DHS has extended the court date once again to give Kayla a chance to come to terms with the circumstances of her life and being adopted. We now have a new court date of October. At first I was shocked that it was so far out but I'm starting to think maybe she does need that time to process things some more. Our therapist is out for the month of May due to surgery but hopefully she will be back in June so we can continue working on getting through Kayla's walls.
This weekend we are off to see the family and I hope to get some much needed, R&R. I have my house on the market and I'm looking for a new one on top of all this so life has been pretty stressful. I need a pool, a book, and some grandparents to watch the kids while I nap.
We were supposed to finalize this month but DHS has extended the court date once again to give Kayla a chance to come to terms with the circumstances of her life and being adopted. We now have a new court date of October. At first I was shocked that it was so far out but I'm starting to think maybe she does need that time to process things some more. Our therapist is out for the month of May due to surgery but hopefully she will be back in June so we can continue working on getting through Kayla's walls.
This weekend we are off to see the family and I hope to get some much needed, R&R. I have my house on the market and I'm looking for a new one on top of all this so life has been pretty stressful. I need a pool, a book, and some grandparents to watch the kids while I nap.
1 comment:
My oldest is the same. Never has a negative word to say about his past, at all, ever. Nada. Nothing. All good! One thing I've discovered is that, despite his statements to the contrary, he really didn't have a very clear age-appropriate understanding of why he came into foster care and why he was ultimately not reunited with his bio-mom and was then adopted. Talking about that has helped a bit with his anger because he's starting to 'get' the bigger picture of it all. But he still won't speak negatively about his past and the anger is definitely still there...
Post a Comment