Friday, February 27, 2009


So it's Friday and I'm waiting for the electrician to finish installing my ceiling fan and it's taking forever. It's been one of those weeks...everything that has happened has just managed to frustrate me endlessly. I am tired and stressed. Right now, I wish I could do nothing but sleep for two days. But that is a dream that is never going to come true. One of the biggest changes I have had to deal with being a single mother is no longer getting to crawl under the covers and hide from the world when I'm exhausted or having a bad day and there is no husband to ask to take over with the kids while I take some time for myself. I have to keep going no matter what I feel like or what is going on and some days I feel like I'm going to collapse from sheer exhaustion but somehow I make it through the day. I guess it's because we have no other choice, right?

Kayla started on her ADHD medication this week and I have seen no change. She is still hyper at night, she still struggles to get her homework done, etc. We saw the therapist last night and she is going to have the doctor's nurse call me today...hopefully. However, she has been going to bed earlier and getting up earlier instead of me having to tell her repeatedly to get out of bed in the morning. She even made coffee for me this morning! That was a nice surprise to wake up to. They put her on some medication to help her sleep at night and that seems to be working well. Now if we can just get the correct dose on the other one, we will be good to go.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Oscar Night

Kayla and I got all dressed up in formal gowns last night and went to the Oscar Night America party benefiting the Wolfe Street Foundation. It is the only officially sanctioned Oscar party in Arkansas. We got the actual programs the people at the Oscars received and enjoyed a 5 course meal. It was a lot of fun and a good bonding time getting dressed up together for a special event. Before we got there, Kayla wanted to know if we had to stay the whole time and could we leave early. Once we got there, though, she asked if we could stay for the whole thing! I was so surprised but she actually seemed to be having fun, even though the fancy food was a little weird for her. They had a silent auction and we had a bidding war going on all night for a Walt Disney Enchanted painting but lost out at the last second. She was bummed about that. However, we ended up staying until Best Picture was announced and were one of the last to leave. That didn't make for a fun Monday morning but at least she doesn't have school today. I was proud of her last night. She sat still, had good manners, didn't complain (except about the picture which was justified), and didn't bounce off the walls. It's good to know I can take her to a formal dinner and she will behave like a princess!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A diagnosis

Kayla and I met with the new counselor tonight to go over her treatment plan and objectives. She had some really good ones and I'm hopeful she can get Kayla talking about her past and the things she does not want to talk about because she doesn't want to feel. I think I am really going to like this therapist. I feel like I'm in on everything that's going on and she really gets kids that are in foster care. Kayla seems to really like her too--so far.

She gave Kayla an ADHD diagnosis, as well as adjustment disorder, and we see the doctor on Monday to discuss medication. I had a feeling she would get this diagnosis and hopefully she can get the right help for it. Since Christmas, I have noticed her get progressively hyper and distracted. I think it's a sign that she's getting more comfortable with me and I think it's great her true personality is coming out. I told her I would much rather you be you than to feel like you have to be on your best behavior all the time. However, she is bouncing off the walls nearly every night, constantly wanting me to watch her do something, is constantly losing things, has to be reminded no less than half a dozen times a night to take a shower, do her homework, clean up and now she says her teachers are getting on to her because she can't sit still in class. So I think it's time to try some medication and see if that doesn't help her focus and calm down. As we were leaving, Kayla pointed out one of the parenting classes they have at the clinic - Parenting the ADHD - and told me I should go...and then laughed and laughed.

Meanwhile, she's at a slumber party tonight. She doesn't have school tomorrow and I get some peace and quiet. Thank God! Monday can't get here soon enough.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Valentines and pageants

Oh what a long weekend we had. Where is my holiday today? I could have used a morning to sleep in. Kayla went to the movies with some friends Friday night so I got some time to myself for a little while. She apparently had a falling out with one of her best friends on Friday so there was a bunch of drama leading up to the movies.

She was my Valentine this year seeing as how there's not much time for anyone else lately. I gave her a stuffed bear and an American Girl DVD. She gave me some chocolate, valentine's socks, lotion and a rubber ducky because I "like to take baths." I guess she thinks I need company in there ;). She was actually pretty good the rest of the day. She cleaned her room and watched her movie on her computer while I worked on a big work project. I then took her to eat cheeseburgers and to go see Confessions of a Shopaholic. This movie is the story of my life, by the way.

Sunday, Kayla was asked to be a guest at a pageant preliminary. She won a state title in 2007. She was so excited. She loves being in pageants and talks nonstop about them and researches them endlessly on the internet and fantasizes about being in every one of them, not stopping until she wins Miss America. I told her I wished I could make her fantasies come true but I'd have to win the lottery first. These things are expensive to enter! I had no idea. So Sunday she got to see some of her old pageant friends and dress up like a princess. We ate dinner with them afterwards. It ended up being a very long day and I'm still tired. What happened to my peaceful weekends? Oh yeah, a tween took them over! Such is life for me these days.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Dancing queen

Kayla tried out for a solo part in her jazz class for recital yesterday and she got it! She was so excited. She's been talking about it for weeks. She's now talking about trying out for the competitive dance team and the school dance team. She's a really good dancer so I hope for her sake she makes it. I'm all for it because it gives her someplace to burn off her energy and gives her something to do and be passionate about--and we all need that.

Meanwhile, I'm exhausted. I've never liked the month of February. Winter starts getting too long and I start getting depressed. I need lots of sunlight and warm weather. So I'm ready for Spring...right now.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Social butterfly

Kayla is becoming quite the social butterfly. In the last two months, she's been to at least four birthday parties. The latest one was tonight. I dropped her off at a friend's house for the little girl's 13th birthday. The latest craze is dance parties. I think this is the third dance party she's been to this year. All the girls get dressed up and giggle over the guys. She called me and wanted to spend the night with her friend Emily Claire afterwards so I picked them up and dropped them off and now have a night to myself. It is 12:30 a.m. and I am awake just because I want to do what I want as long as possible. The house is quiet and I can sleep in tomorrow. Maybe she'll be invited to another one next weekend. Here's crossing my fingers....;)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Family counseling, round two

We had our visit with the new therapist and I think I'm really going to like her. Kayla even said she liked her better because she said the other one made her "talk about her feelings." We just did an intake visit and answered a million questions. Our first official visits will start in two weeks and we will have one hour of individual therapy for her and then one hour of family therapy. We got late appointments, though, so it shouldn't be too bad. But it will probably make a VERY long night for her. We also have to visit the psych again in a couple of weeks. Kayla probably doesn't need any medication--if anything, she's got some ADD issues flaring up so that may need to be addressed. But all in all it went really well. I also like that we are going to have family counseling every week instead of every other week. I think that will really help. So hopefully this will be a good thing. I'm learning a lot how to deal with constant change in my life--something I was never any good at.

Super Bowl hangover

I threw a last minute Super Bowl party this weekend. I spent all weekend preparing for it and collapsed after the game last night. I was so tired. Too bad I couldn't sleep in this morning. Planning for a party is pretty stressful at times. Kayla was so excited, though, and had so much fun hanging out with people. I made chili and queso and had guests bring their favorite snack. We will be eating leftovers for weeks. My team didn't win...I was pulling for the Cardinals because I'm a big Kurt Warner fan but oh well. It was a great finish to the game so at least it was exciting at the end.