My crazy summer

Okay so I started my new job and I quit after two days. I have never done anything like that before in my life but I knew after everything else I didn't want to be miserable at work also. But I didn't leave without another job. I called an attorney I used to work for and and asked him if he was still needing someone and he said yes so I've been working for him the last four days. I really like it. I get to do all the research and writing I want, which is what I love to do. I had to take a pay cut but these days I'm valuing serenity more than money. Let's see how long that lasts!

I've been super busy adjusting to the new job and dealing with the fallout of my house. The buyers backed out last week after we had renewed our offer on the house we were going to buy. Nothing is going my way this month so I'm giving up. If something's meant to happen, it will happen.

Kayla has been busy hanging out at the pool. I found a couple of friends who were willing to let her tag along on their summer days so she is doing fine. We started back with family therapy tonight and it went really well. The therapist said she could see we had come a long way since she saw us last--so maybe one thing is going right and it's the most important. Kayla's spending the night with a friend tonight so I'm trying to catch up on my rest but I think I need about five more days....

I've got a job!

I start my new job tomorrow. I'm a little nervous and I wish there was a way I could have taken more time off but as a single mom I'm the only one who pays the bills. I hope it goes well. I've never even set foot in the place so I have no idea what to expect. They offered me the job over the phone and created a position for me. Kayla picked out my outfit to wear tomorrow--she's excited for me. So off I go on another new adventure (there's been way too many of these lately).

By the way, does anybody have any suggestions of what to do with a 13-year-old girl during the summer? She's too old for day camps and too young to stay by herself. I have several friends who are helping me out this week but it seems like there should be an easier solution for kids this age.

Happy Birthday, Kayla

You're a teenager! Oh my! May all your wishes and dreams come true and may you please not send me to the insane asylum during your teen years! I love you, sweet girl.

One year ago...

Kayla moved in with me one year ago. How time flies! I can't believe it has been a year since this little petite blue-eyed blonde beauty who was to be my daughter moved about 30 boxes of stuff!!! into my house. Last summer we were two strangers trying to get to know one another as mother and daughter. Talk about an adjustment. There were many times I wondered what I was doing and why I was doing it but I kept putting one foot in front of the other and here we are a year later. We are no longer strangers...in fact I can't get her to stop talking most days...or stop moving. She is no longer the scared quiet little girl. Walls have come down and yet many more still need to come down. But this relationship is a work in progress and we have definitely progressed. We have fun, laugh and tell jokes together. Some days I'm not her favorite person and some days she's not mine but we are forging a bond through thick and thin. We've already had to weather some storms with the delay of her adoption and then the loss of my job but I think (and hope) going through these things together will bring us closer together in the end. I have fought hard for her and I hope she knows I will continue to fight for her forever. I appealed to the school district to transfer her to a different school and won. I appealed to DHS to give us a subsidy and won--and our social worker said in all her years she has never seen anyone win a subsidy appeal on the first appeal. I did have a new house for her and was pretty much financially set but I guess God has other plans for us. I don't know where will be living or what life will be like one month, six months or a year from now but I do know that we are in this together and we will be okay, just the two of us.

And thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Last week was rough but I do have some job offers on the table and hope to have accepted one by the end of the day. Now I've just got to figure out where we are going to live...

Are we in a depression yet?

I was laid off from my job Friday afternoon with absolutely no warning. They laid off the two of us that had been at the firm the longest due to the economy, so they say. I was shocked, still am, but feel a little better today. To top it all off, I had just sold my house Thursday and bought another one. So now I have no job and nowhere to live in a month. I was so scared of what to tell DHS and how they would react. But I called our adoption specialist today and she was really nice and assured me I would find something soon and seemed willing to work with me as I go through this phase in my life. Kayla is actually handling it really well--much better than me. Her attitude was great all weekend. Who knows what's going on inside her head, though. I already have a couple of interviews lined up. One tomorrow and one Friday in my parents' hometown so we'll just see what happens. I know God has a plan and I'll end up where I'm supposed to be...the journey there is tough, though.